One day last September I went
For a walk through a woodland in Kent
At the end of a wire
Along which, should I tire,
Quite intense wake-up currents were sent.
Wire-guided like some dumb missile,
I walked for the most of a mile
While the much-played-with switch
Caused so frequent a twitch
That I saw sev'ral passers-by smile.
Dog-collars are placed around necks,
Whatever the animal's sex.
More cunningly my
Wire was wound where no eye
Its point of connection detects.
But first I was cuffed to a tree,
Buttocks bare so my trainer could see
If sufficiently lined
She had made my behind
With her flogger ere setting me free.
Though now it is deepest December
My nerve-ends still sharply remember
What then did transpire
At the end of a wire
When I walked in the woods in Septemb
